Sometimes I make predictions that turn out to be correct, but I haven’t written them down, so I don’t have the receipts to boast about my foresight. THIS. ENDS. NOW.

(Most of them are silly obscurities. For example, I predicted, based only on the announcement that David Fincher was going to direct, and the fact that I had read, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, that Daniel Craig would be cast in the lead role. And I predicted that, even though he had said he would only produce, and that Guillermo del Toro had been hired to direct, The Hobbit, Peter Jackson was going to end up directing it, and that he would break it into multiple parts. See? Who cares?)

This one is about the Supreme Court.

President Dogshit Taintlick signed an executive order last week to eliminate “birthright citizenship” for babies born to undocumented immigrants and temporary visa holders. The order was, as a Reagan-appointed federal district judge said, when he stopped it from taking immediate effect, “blatantly unconstitutional.” Twenty-two states had already sued to stop the order. It shows the degree to which Taintlickism has captured the Republican Party that it wasn’t immediately fifty states.

When this reaches the Supreme Court—as it will almost certainly do relatively soon, because it’s a constitutional crisis in a can—my prediction is they will smack it down very quickly.

And, further, it will be a 9-0 decision.

I despise six of the justices on the court. But, unless the case has to do with women’s rights, state-religion-establisher Amy Boney-Carrot often joins the liberal wing, along with John “Milquetoast” Roberts. They both seem to be okay with the Constitution, as long as women and minorities are oppressed, which this order only tangentially entails. (5-4)

The rapist and the nepo-baby—Kavanacht and Goresuck—are conservative dickholes, but not so hypocritical that they will utterly abandon their own conservatism solely to stick it to the browns. They’re racists, but they’re right-wing conservative establishment racists. (7-2)

As for the lunatic fringe, we have Uncle Thomas and Gruppenführer A****. Thomas might be the only Black man in America to fervently wish the South had won. As for Torquemada de Infierno, the most far-right member of the Court in history, he would like nothing better than to deny citizenship to everyone who is not a member of Opus Dei, and put everyone else in camps until they confess their sins, flagellate themselves and hand over a pound of flesh.

But they have painted themselves into a darkly comic corner, on this one. They are fervent “originalists,” as disciples of the comparatively far-left and puppy-friendly Antonin Scalia, which means that if James Madison didn’t know about it, it still doesn’t exist. They have ruled that the only firearms we can regulate, for example, are those that existed in the 1790s. Yes, the Deep State is coming for your blunderbusses.

In this case, though, not only is the relevant Supreme Court precedent almost 130 years old, the original understanding of the text of the 14th Amendment by its authors and ratifiers 157 years ago makes this executive order unconstitutional. So, unless they want to render their hypocrisy in letters large enough for King George to read without spectacles, they’re stuck. (9-0)