God give me the courage...

…to let my Twitter accounts be permanently deleted. I deactivated them both today. It takes, like, a month.

One of them had only just been released from Twitter jail. (I called a right wing ideologue a cunt and might have vaguely cast doubt on whether she should remain alive. Guess that was bad or something.)

And, on my main account, I spent much of today fighting with people who think I’m an unreconstructed Old Soviet-style communist because I don’t think we should allow anyone to become a billionaire; and that I’m a CIA agent because I’m in favor of a gun registry.

I mean, that’s all very amusing, and there’s absolutely no limit to how stupid people are, but I am wasting far too much time on this bullshit. I know that’s true, I believe it, I think it’s pointless, useless, stupid; yet the odds are very good that I will undeactivate my account before it’s gone. Why?

I think the answer is Because I have undiagnosed ADHD and Twitter, as Facebook once did, to the detriment of nearly every relationship I’ve ever had, stomps on my buttons like a guitar god on their pedals, sending a squall of distortion into my gut, insisting, demanding—ordering me—to scream back into the void. I don’t want to do it anymore.

My family, because we have an employment connection to Twitter, has benefitted financially from the company’s existence. But it could have been any company. Twitter doesn’t work for me; it’s unhealthy for me; and I think I’d rather be completely cut off from “the conversation,” forever, than spend one more second there.

So I hope I do, I hope I make it out. One day, perhaps, I’ll come back to the site in an author’s guise. And I’ll write pithy, meaningless, useless, time-wasting “content” that won’t do anything for anyone again.